Stress and the smoking cigarette
i don’t smoke. Once in a great while i would if i went out but i never go out anymore so i haven’t smoked in forever. Tonight i smoke. i am stressed and even though i am not a smoker i need something to soothe and calm me….and it’s better than turning to food. LP has a carton of cigarettes in one of Her drawers that She had me get so She would have some when She gets back. They don’t sell this brand in England and She likes them when She is here. But i babble. So i was/am stressed this afternoon/evening and so i smoked. i will probably smoke again soon. i wish LP were here and that She could help me work off some of this stress in a more pleasureable way. Tonight i think i might actually welcome something more than a little stingy….odd idea to enter my head, but there it is.
i think i have a bit of a smoking fetish anyway. There’s something sexy about it sometimes. Like there is a certain way that LP has looked at me as She takes a drag and slowly releases the smoke, kind of contemplative and a bit wicked…..mmm…..it just makes my body go all tingly. i have actually incorporated that look into a fantasy of mine and it does it for me every time. If i had permission that particular fantasy might have come out to play tonight, especially since the bedroom will smell faintly of LP’s cigarettes. That would be interesting.
