Toy shopping
LP and i were doing a bit of online shopping….we have some nice new toys coming next week. i am allowed to take them out and make sure they work, but i can’t play with them until LP returns at the end of next month. That’s alright really, i am not a toy person on my own. i love when we can play with them together, and sometimes just shopping around for new ones we might be interested in is enough for me. But by myself i just don’t really need them. Although…i suppose it could just be that i am not used to playing with them. my mind has always been my biggest sexual aid, so to speak. i imagine scenarios in my head and it’s those pictures, more than what i may be doing physically, that bring me to the edge.
i suppose that can be handy in a long distance relationship. i spend a lot of mental energy daydreaming about when LP and i are together, future possibilities as well as fond memories. i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not though. i mean, maybe i am building up my hopes too high, creating expectations that are too out there. i’ve read things about people who build things up in their heads so much that the reality just can’t live up to it. i try not to let things get that out of hand, i have learned some not so fun lessons on expectations. If i don’t expect anything then i can’t be disappointed. It’s not that easy, because it’s fun to dream and plan and hope. i have to find a halfway point.
When we were shopping LP said to me that She thought She could hear some ‘BOB-ish’ whispers. i have to admit, it was true to an extent. i didn’t actually cite my most recent phrase to live by ‘i won’t hold my breath’ but a small part of me did think to myself how fun the new toys will be ‘if’ we get around to playing with them. i guess it’s going to take a while to put BOB completely to rest, it’s not an easy task that just making plans can accomplish. Plans have a habit of falling through, especially around here. For instance, we have been working on things to get rid of BOB. Taking small steps that will eventually lead to bigger and better things that will hopefully stifle BOB for good. So what happens?? my back goes out. i am very peeved about it. It’s not very easy to work on my quota when it hurts to get into certain positions.
Ah well….i have a whole month ahead of me to work on the new quota. i am actually down one already because midnight came and went the other night and i didn’t realize it. So for last month i managed six in the last two days of April, and inadvertently scored one for May. So, that leaves 13 for the rest of May…i’ll have to budget so i don’t run out before the end of the month.
