Thinking about a challenge – LP
I have been thinking about challenge today. W/we had a conversation yesterday and her needs are not being met. I feel lost because I don’t always feel I have the imagination to do things and suggest things to keep that spark that she needs. It’s not that I don’t want to keep that spark going but I just seem to have trouble thinking of ideas and new concepts to try. I don’t want things to become samey and at the same time I end up doing the exact opposite and they become samey with nothing actually happening at all. It makes Me wonder how other online relationships manage to keep the spark. When W/we are together there is the face to face contact and W/we can discuss, change, modify, agree and find new things to keep U/us interested. When W/we are apart I really struggle. Short of giving her tasks to do of a more personal nature I just get stuck.
I want challenge to know how much I think of her. How she is always in My mind and heart and yet, again, unwittingly I make her feel neglected. It confuses Me sometimes how I can seem to be one thing and yet act as another. I am not an angry or violent person at all. I am not mean and unkind. I speak My mind as diplomatically as possible, whenever possible and yes, sometimes straightforwardness is the only way, but for the most part I aim to be kind.
I have tried looking for blogs online, written by Masters, Lords, Sir’s, Madames, Misses, etc to see if I can sneak a peek into the D/s world of how the Tops keep their bottoms happy during online times when they are apart. It seems there is a distinct lack of Tops who write blogs. Most of what I found was written by subs, slaves and bottoms who tend to write from their own perspective about their own experiences. These are fun and interesting to read, although not, from My own perspective, educational. I know so little about the whole D/s thing and W/we are still exploring to a large degree.
What leaves Me stuck is that My poor darling challenge is suffering at My own hands without My actually meaning to hurt her. It wounds Me to think she is not getting from Me what she wants and needs from O/our relationship. W/we talk about mundane everyday life during O/our online discussions and yes, W/we have fun sometimes. Although those times seem to be less frequent than they used to be and I feel at a loss as to how to spice things up. I love My darling challenge and I want her to know how I care for her and appreciate her.
Any suggested websites would be useful…
