my twisting mind….
Last week rosie over at EJK’s slave had asked about things others were tempted by around the house. i commented and told her about my obsession with the 24oz soda bottle.This little ‘curiosity’ of mine extends to oddly shaped water bottles as well. i wwould love to use one as a mold to make a toy for LP and i to play with. We just need to figure out the right materials to use. i think about this sort of thing a lot though, not just with bottles, but with random things as well. Like this afternoon i helped myself to a popscicle type thing i had bought a bag of for the kids. They are about 6 inches long and maybe a little over an inch around….a nice size.
So here i sat, licking this popscicle, running my tongue around the tip of it, sucking on the end….and i got a case of the giggles. i realized i was just happily blowing this frozen treat. Of course that led me wondering what it would feel like if i used if for other purposes. i kind of like cold things. LP thought of putting vince the vibrator in the freezer over night, but we’d have to hide it in case the kids looked in the freezer for some reason. These popscicle things, though, they have possibilities. It’s summer, completely normal to have them in the freezer. i am not to keen on getting all that sugary melt off in delicate places though, so maybe a condom slipped over it and tied off at the end would work. Control the mess but still allow all the fun….hmmm….
Now i am having thoughts of a decidedly…horny…nature. i think i will be adding another notch to my quota tonight. i am at nine altogether and have met my requirement that at least five of them be done with a toy. i actually have found it is, well easier is one word, but not what i would mean…it feels better and is a bit faster. i never used to really care for playing with toys by myself. It was only fun if LP was involved. But lately i like them better even when not specifically told to use them. i still prefer specific instructions on what toy to use and how, but that’s mainly because it involves LP playing with me, something i just can’t get enough of.
Knotty Boys….a new fixation
i went toodling around You Tube checking out the different videos of the Knotty Boys and they have some really awsome ones that look amazing. Then i found this:
It looked so cool that i thought it would be neat for other things, since i already have a lovely collar. So i used a smaller cord and made a bracelet usingthe same technique. It only took about twenty minutes to make one for my wrist, which is larger than the average female one. Now i am wondering if i could add beads. i don’t have any right now that are a size that would work with this size cord though, so i will have to wait until i can get some. Then i started wondering about different materials to use…..like hemp. i know it kind of strays away the theme of the vidoes but my mind does tend to wander sometimes.
There was also this video that made me go, hmmmm……
i don’t think i would like it done to me. my hair would get caught in knots and that isn’t the kind of hair pulling i get off on. But it looks neat. i love the way the knot between the eyes looks. i wonder how much it interferes with opening the mouth….
i guess my interest in rope isn’t so much in the actual act bondage but in the artistry of the knots and the designs of the different creations. i mean some things, like the wrist video yesterday, i like for both reasons. i like the way it looks and i love the thought of being restrained that way. i can actually picture myself tied to the bed this way….and then of course my mind goes on from there to what LP could possibly think to do with me all helpless….*shivers*….ohhhh yeah…..that’s what i was thinking about last night when i made another notch in my quota and hit my Wednesday night requirement.
Afternoon delight
i was a bit tricky this afternoon. i knew i was going to be going out this evening for a kid thing and that i would probably be really tired when i got back. i also knew i still have quite a bit of my allotted quota that hasn’t been met. Add to that the fact that LP and i were talking before She slept about that wand toy we bought and She was saying that i may just be invited to help Her prove a little theory with it when She gets here. On Her. i am so very up for that! In fact just the little we talked about it got me thinking and thinking got me rather turned on. So after LP went to bed there was about half an hour until the kids got in from school. i put that time to good use and made another notch in my quota. That wand and our vince are a wonder team! i think i barely lasted two minutes! For me that is really quick…i’m kind of like those slow release tablets. Takes me forever to get there most of the time. Sure was nice to let off a little steam though. i was fairly squirming in my seat while we were talking.
Today it is exactly one calendar month until LP returns…..i am so excited!!
Working on my quota
LP has been very lenient with my quota this month since i have had such bad trouble with my body for much of it. It is so frustrating! i was kind of whinging about it to someone yesterday. First my back goes out while trying to put a toy on so we can play and it all just sort of went downhill from there! While the back was out at first i couldn’t sleep in my bed (again….that’s a whole different rant!) then I caught some sort of stomach bug, those two finally started going away and the back went completely out worse than before! But my doctor gave me lovely drugs and they helped immensely and just as I’m thinking i am getting better i come down with some sort of crud that stuffed me up and had me wheezing and coughing and snotty…it was disgusting. It still is to a degree, but i am happy to say i am improving on all fronts and have actually spent a few nights in the bed as i rambled about in a previous post. i do love my bed…LP bought the mattress and built the box frame for underneath it and it is nice and firm. i never thought i’d enjoy a firm mattress but once again LP was right, they are more comfortable.
One thing that i haven’t followed through on though is reporting on progress on my orgasm quota as i am supposed to. Okay, so i had a doctor apointent today and had to dash to the school to pick up a sick kid, but i could have found a moment to at least tell LP that it was mission accomplished last night…with not one, but two toys! i was quite pleased with myself (sorry…horrible pun…totally intentional as well :)) The odd thing is, the new wand toy we have seems a lot louder and less effective in the bed than it was the day LP had me play with it here in the chair. Maybe that was because She was involved…that always makes things better. i rallied like a trooper though and discovered that the unique shape of that toy has definite benefits! Couple that with our very first little friend, vince, and i was a very well satisfied girl.
And tonight is Wednesday….one of my required nights to play. i am definitely feeling up to it!
Busy weekend
The flowers i made for the teenager’s prom were a success if i do say so myself. Her date was very pleased and said they were better than any he could have bought at a store. Nice of him to say so. It’s made me think about all the things i once considered doing with my life. LP and i were discussing all of that today. It’s hard to look back on those dreams and realize that i am on the other side of the line now and it’s a bit late to be thinking about what i want to be when i grow up. i should be planning now for when i am old and how i am going to take care of myself. i am way behind. It isn’t a good feeling.
On a better, more fun note, LP has had me test out a couple of our new toys under Her direction. Oh yes….they are definite hits! The best toys we have purchased to date…well with the exception of the beast, but that can only be used when we are together in person. We purchased the bullets and the wand when we ran into a snag with one of the toys we already had. A vibrating stimulator in the shape of a ‘sunflower’ that just never had quite done the trick. Perhaps it is the way i am built, my weight, who knows. It just has never been capable of getting the job done, only tickling a bit. It is also attached by elastic straps that don’t hold it snug enough to the body. Plus it is a pain to get on…which is how i put my back out last week. One little wiggle in the wrong direction was all it took. So we talked about attaching something to underwear and that would probably have worked. Then we bought these new toys. The single bullet can be worn with snug underwear and pants and all it takes it the roll of the controller wheel at LP’s direction and….yeah…it gets the seal of approval! The want is a bit different because of it’s shape and size. It’s best not used with clothing, but the way it is shaped i can sit comfortable, even with my back not at its best yet and again, a flick of the controls and a few well timed words from LP and it does the trick nicely. i do love when new toys work out well.
Playing catch up
It really has been a busy week. i’ve been remiss in my posting because of it. my last post i talked about toy shopping and those playthings have arrived since then. i checked them out to make sure they work properly, without playing with them. We had a bad experience with a remote control egg we purchased back in December. LP ordered it as a sort of christmas present. So it sat unopened until She arrived and even then we didn’t check it out right away. When we finally did get around to it we noticed that while it has several different speed and rhythm settings they all have to be cycled through before She is able to turn it off. Kind of make it difficult to turn it off at the last second before it makes me squeal 😉 We figured we would learn to deal with that though, we are adaptive. But when we actually went to try it out for real it stopped working altogether. There were no vibrations or pulses, only a high pitched whine. It was very disappointing. The company didn’t want to exchange it because we had waited too long from the date of purchase. But LP got them to change their minds and we sent them the faulty merchandise. After waiting and waiting we emailed them to check the status and they said they had never received it. Once again LP used Her powers of persuasion and they sent us a new one anyway, as a gesture of good will. That is why the toys just received had to be tested, if not played with, soon as they arrived. Let me just say that i am really looking forward to playing with these new pretties! Especially the wand thing.
It looks odd but it has such interesting possibilities! And it has a pretty strong high speed. That should be all kinds of fun! The other ones are vibrating bullets, one is a dual set….LP has really great taste in toys. i am not really a toy person on my own, but i do love the idea of playing with these with LP at the controls!
It’s kind of annoying that i haven’t been able to play, considering i have a quota to meet for this month. The arrival of the toys and the ideas they gave would have been inspiration enough even without being able to play with them on my own. Unfortunately i have gone and put my back out again. One little twist in the wrong direction and i am out of commision for days. Almost a week now and getting very frustrating….or should that be i am getting very frustrated 😉
i have been in an exceptionally good mood for the most part though. Writing inspiration hit and my little fingers have been nimbly tappity tapping away. Then life stuff got in the way and i had to pause it all in deference to doctor and dentist appointments and visits from my parents and having to create a corsage for prom this weekend. See…busy busy girl. But i am loving it. i think LP has enjoyed it as well, She always has prefered me when my mind is in high gear.
i have been keeping up with my daily reading rounds as much as i have been able. Since the demise of my previous computer which cost me my favorites file i haven’t been able to remember where to find all of the different blogs i enjoy reading. A few had been placed on the side bar here in the blog roll and i was so glad for that! i am such a fan of these writers, and find so much food for thought in some of their postings. What i find interesting is how so many of the posts seem to coincide with issues i am facing in myself and in my relationship with LP. i feel like some adolescent fan sometimes so i keep my comments to myself, other times i just can’t really help myself.
Toy shopping
LP and i were doing a bit of online shopping….we have some nice new toys coming next week. i am allowed to take them out and make sure they work, but i can’t play with them until LP returns at the end of next month. That’s alright really, i am not a toy person on my own. i love when we can play with them together, and sometimes just shopping around for new ones we might be interested in is enough for me. But by myself i just don’t really need them. Although…i suppose it could just be that i am not used to playing with them. my mind has always been my biggest sexual aid, so to speak. i imagine scenarios in my head and it’s those pictures, more than what i may be doing physically, that bring me to the edge.
i suppose that can be handy in a long distance relationship. i spend a lot of mental energy daydreaming about when LP and i are together, future possibilities as well as fond memories. i don’t know if that’s a good thing or not though. i mean, maybe i am building up my hopes too high, creating expectations that are too out there. i’ve read things about people who build things up in their heads so much that the reality just can’t live up to it. i try not to let things get that out of hand, i have learned some not so fun lessons on expectations. If i don’t expect anything then i can’t be disappointed. It’s not that easy, because it’s fun to dream and plan and hope. i have to find a halfway point.
When we were shopping LP said to me that She thought She could hear some ‘BOB-ish’ whispers. i have to admit, it was true to an extent. i didn’t actually cite my most recent phrase to live by ‘i won’t hold my breath’ but a small part of me did think to myself how fun the new toys will be ‘if’ we get around to playing with them. i guess it’s going to take a while to put BOB completely to rest, it’s not an easy task that just making plans can accomplish. Plans have a habit of falling through, especially around here. For instance, we have been working on things to get rid of BOB. Taking small steps that will eventually lead to bigger and better things that will hopefully stifle BOB for good. So what happens?? my back goes out. i am very peeved about it. It’s not very easy to work on my quota when it hurts to get into certain positions.
Ah well….i have a whole month ahead of me to work on the new quota. i am actually down one already because midnight came and went the other night and i didn’t realize it. So for last month i managed six in the last two days of April, and inadvertently scored one for May. So, that leaves 13 for the rest of May…i’ll have to budget so i don’t run out before the end of the month.
Of liquid latex, reworked exercises and general stuff
LP has reworked my exercises. She watched me doing them and decided that the settings of my machines weren’t really doing me any good. So she increased resistance and lowered the repetitions. Needless to say i am huffing and puffing like crazy and my arms are screaming by the time i am done. i am sure it will be good for me and if it helps fix this issue with my weight then all the better. There are things beyond my physical health at risk now. i just wonder about the outcome.
We finally had a small semblance of privacy last night and took the opportunity to experiment with the liquid latex we purchased. First impression on opening the jar was to gag. The smell that wafted up into our eager faces was reminiscent of a litter box long over due for a change. It was overwhelming and more than a little disgusting. But opening the patio and lighting some incense helped and the smell disipated for the most part. So there i was sprawled on a cover sheet while LP got artistic on my chest. (She took a picture but i don’t know if She will allow me to post it or not, or if i could handle it being posted) Then came the fun part….waiting for it to dry. Have i ever mentioned that i have the patience of a gnat? Just laying there like that with no other distractions was far from pleasureable. Then came the silicon spray that is supposed to make it shiny and slick so it doesn’t stick to itself. It definitely did it’s job, made the painted bits and the skin around it all slick. That actually was kind of fun. i kept running my fingers over it all and playing with the slipperiness. i love that feeling, super slippery skin. The inevitable question was then asked, what now? So we started peeling it off, a much more difficult task than anticipated. It came off in little bits and pieces and skinny stringers. We figure that we should have put on several layers to get a nice thickness. i don’t know if i could stand lying still for that long. Maybe if some other things were employed to keep my mind off of it….like our new remote control egg 😉 Finally though it was all peeled off and i was sent to the bathroom to wash the residue and silicon off my chest. LP says that maybe we will give it another try after the kids go back to school next week. The rest of the evening went a little better at least, even if it did result in a couple of embarassing moments for both of us, but we had some good giggles.
Two weeks into LP’s visit, half way through. There won’t be any extensions this time like there was at Christmas. She has to get back so She can finish up what She has to do and come back this summer. Which is good because there is the possibility that i may be having some surgery done on one of my elbows. It will be better having Her here to help me. i don’t really have anyone else i can comfortably rely on during what should be a short recovery time, no one that won’t drive me crazy anyway. i doubt there will be time to do both elbows in the time She is here, but for the first at least it will be comforting to have Her with me. It’s kind of a scary prospect even if it isn’t a really major surgery.
i have some things on my mind. Some issues i need to resolve for my own peace of mind and, i feel, for the good of my relationship with LP. i think the best thing is for me to write it all down and give it to LP this evening. Then maybe we can take some time to talk it over when we have gone to bed. Maybe.
Black Snake Moan….i must be a chain slut
Took me a while to get around to seeing this movie, but finally did it. Wow…..am i the only one who found the idea of being chained to a radiator like that a complete turn on?? It wasn’t even that it was Christina Ricci, no…i wanted to be the one with the clank clanky chain locked around my waist. Then there was the part where she rolled herself up in the chain and it helped her get control of her ‘urges’ so she could sleep. i didn’t even really care that the plot was a bit thin, i was too busy thinking about the length of chain we have stashed in the closet. i don’t know what it is about the sound of a chain being rattled……and the idea of having some big midevil looking lock holding it shut??……yummy……
Thinking about it, i know it is totally impractical and not something that we could ever really do, but i love the idea! LP could just put me at the end of a nice long chain that could reach the most necessary parts of the house. And since it’s my own little fantasty maybe i could be tastefully nearly nude….and not be selfconscious of my body…..yeah, chains. Chains would be fun to play with.
The belly chain she got at the end made me think of LP’s collar around my neck. Such a perfect choice.
The porno in my head
LP and i have often talked about there being no such thing as a good porno. i guess what we would consider good wouldn’t be considered porn. It’s really all in the eye of the beholder just like beauty. We want a story and a plot and decent acting as well hot sexy scenes. Why can’t we have our cake and eat it too?? i have half way joked that i would love to produce a porno. i could write the screenplay and then we could audition the actors (are there any porn stars who can actually act??) and then we could see what happens. i think that if i were to win the lottery that would be something i would want to do, just for the fun of it! i bet that the money put into the thing would be earned back in no time and then some.
i guess this thought comes from the porno that’s been running off and on in my head all afternoon. It’s been one of those days. Probably all the talk with LP earlier about toys and making our own and what we, personally, would like from our toys. my mind became firmly implanted in the gutter and it has been there every since.
i have always had an active fantasy life. It’s always been a way for me to enjoy things that i either can’t have, won’t do for real, or don’t get enough of in real life. It’s something i have done for so long that it just comes naturaly to me. In fact i find it odd when i learn that not everyone has fantasies, not what i consider fantasies. When i was married i asked the husband what some of his fantasies were in an attempt to spice things up. The blank look i received from him should have been a good indication that there was no hope for that part of our relationship, which started going downhill before the honeymoon was even over. It still never occured to me that he might be more of the norm than i was.
i like the way my mind works though. It keeps me entertained and gives me an outlet for things that just wouldn’t fit in my life for one reason or another. Sometimes though i wonder if it doesn’t get in the way of actually going for things i would like to make reality. i have expressed to LP before that some things are just better left to the fantasy realm. But sometimes, maybe, fantasies are meant to be brought into the real world and explored. Today’s feature fantasy, playing on the big screen in my head, is mostly of the keep it to myself variety. Not really much question about that, today at least. But how does a person know for sure what’s better left alone and what to try to make reality?
LP and challenge - O/our journey 