Something to build on

Friday, 18 April 2008 at 9:49 pm (Introspection)

At one point during our conversation today it came up that building my confidence level is something that i have to do myself. Basing it on how someone else causes me to feel may be nice for a while, but it isn’t enough. It won’t be a lasting improvement. i need to look inside myself and find the things that i like about me, that make me proud and make me feel good all on my own and build on them. It’s difficult. Self esteem wasn’t something that was high on the priority list when i was growning up. In fact it was kind of seen as wrong to have very high self esteem, it led to pride and pride is a sin. i wasn’t allowed to claim the things that i was good at as my own. But that was then, and this is now.

LP says that what we put out we receive back. If i project that i don’t like me, don’t feel worthy of respect or being loved and wanted then that is what i will get back. It’s difficult to know how to start. There are a couple of sub journals that i read by women who i have come to admire because they put out such confidence in themselves. But it’s not really something i could ask how they became so confident in themselves. It’s something i have to figure out for myself. But i know that LP is there to support me as i try to figure it out.

So i am looking for the things that i already like about me. The things that i am good at, that make up the good things in my personality that i would like to bring out and make stronger.